Disgrace

I attended a public meeting the other day. Four candidates (one was the incumbent) were running for office, and they were making speeches. One candidate, whom we will call Joe, decided to use a device commonly known as negative campaigning or mudslinging.

Joe compared all the candidates to pie.

He said, "One of my opponents is too hot, another is too cold, and the third has been here so long that they've gone stale."

Yes, it's true, he didn't use any names. But we all knew what he was referring to when he talked about the stale pie. Saying that we at the meeting didn't know who Joe was referring to makes the assumption that we were all morons. It was obvious that he was referring to the incumbent who we will call Kirsten. Anyone who claims not to know is in denial.

Joe then went on to further insult the stale pie (Kirsten).

"I thought that it would be a good idea to feed the stale pie to the dogs," Joe said, "But then I realized that doing so would be animal cruelty."

Joe's rude behavior continued. He claimed that his pie was the perfect temperature and had all the perfect fillings.

Well let Joe hear this. His pie was not a perfect pie. It was, in fact, a mud pie, and he is nothing more than a rude, cocky, and disgusting excuse for a candidate.

Fortunately, his pathetic speech crashed and burned. People were angry at his behavior and openly criticized him afterwards. Halfway through the speech, people began talking, provoking an idiotic response from Joe.

"I'll wait for you to finish your conversations," he said.

I was tempted to shout, "We're talking because you suck!" but I decided to restrain myself.

In the end though, I was disappointed. I was hoping he would be booed off the stage. However, it was nice to see him fail miserably at starting a chant of the word "pie."

Joe owes us all an apology, for his disgraceful behavior, and he owes Kirsten a public apology for his insults.